You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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