So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
