last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
