Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
