I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I came so hard my ears popped.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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