nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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