i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
