I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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