I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
