I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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