did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
