I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Semen is not good for contacts.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
