im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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