This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
