He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
