That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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