it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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