I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
