why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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