My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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