I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
