That's intense
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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