Its about making memories worth repressing
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
