Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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