Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
