We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
