You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
