he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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