I didn't shave. On purpose
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
