He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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