She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
