and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
