is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
