i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
