You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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