party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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