like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
