We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
