Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
