That's intense
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
