I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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