Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
