But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize