Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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