just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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