Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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