then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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