I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize