I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
