dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
