she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
