So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
