the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
