the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
