I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
