party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
