I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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