Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
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