try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
