I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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