i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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