let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize