So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
