no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize