During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
