omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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