He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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