Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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