Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
high people should be assigned attendants
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize