Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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