Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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